Substitutes from Kenny Chua on Vimeo.

When beauty never seems to last.

A moth drawn to a flame. Misguided in elliptical orbit, on a road to self-destruction.

Noticing the helplessness of your ubiquitous self-consumption, I'd burn my wings to delay even if for just a second. Burn me, once and again; I burn not for others.

Am I not chained to such deadly vestiges?

I think I've come to some sort of conclusion to the problem. Albeit one that is arrived at by means unknown even to me. It seems to teeter uncomfortably close to the notion of hope which is, of course, tantamount to trying to fly with flapping arms. It affirms the irrational - and I wonder if I can truly accept it. Tentative acceptance not accepted, not anymore.

However, I don't think it should be heard in such inopportune times. Perhaps then, it will have to await a more glamourous revelation during a time when we're all drunk with mindless elation.

There's this part about me that's all about being flamboyant, being as beautiful as the combination of your forms allow you to be, and yet there's also this seemingly opposing side of me that's all for subtlety and sombre resplendence.

Living in a society such as ours subjects us to a pace of life so hasty, that much of the small niceties in life are blurred out in a rush of rapidity. A vague, but clearly cohesive picture of the real world painted by a work of fiction, understated beauty in an author's choice of words, even the form and proportions of the fonts and typefaces used, such details are often lost to the flood of events that flash past us.

That is just one of many such instances. Realise the amount of rich heritage, culture and information that is lost as a by-product of this life of fleeting moments that many unknowingly lead. As such, it is important, if you wish so much as to respect your intelligence and sentience, to take a step, in spirit at least, out of this system that we are choicelessly confined in.

Slow down, appreciate.

Allow yourself the liberty of taking a shower that's longer than the brief affairs they usually are. Dial up the temperature on the heater to the limits of your comfort, and let the water flow just enough to wash the grime from the toil and labour of the day off the face which you have been hiding so often from yourself and the ones you love.

Close your eyes, and listen to the flow of the warm water. Feel the pressure of the stream of water, carried by the force of gravity, pushing through the layers of your hair and pulsating like a warm, living force against your scalp. Feel it travel further down against the contours of your body, and allow it to so gently tease the boundaries of pain on the more sensitive parts of your body. Feel the individual drops of water, at the same time, feel them all at once.

Open your eyes, notice the steam building up around you, and breathe it in. Let the warmth dwell within you and become one with you.

You have been cleansed and purified, both your body and your soul.

Slow down, appreciate.

You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine.

Thank you. Nevertheless, I pray to reason that my edge will wean me off this drug that I've relied on for far too long.

You guys should know very well that most of the time, I'm into the very opposite of pop music, but there are exceptions.

Like this:

The night is deafening when the silence is listening
And I'm down on my knees, and I know that something is missing.
Because the back of my mind is holding things I'm relying in
But I choose to ignore it because I'm always denying them

I'm a bit of a manic when it's not as I plan it
Cause I start losing my head and then I get up in a panic
Remember when we were kids and always knew when to quit it
Are we denying a crisis or are we scared of admitting it?

I don't want to know

I just want to run to you
And break off the chains, and throw them away
I just want to be so much
And shake off the dust that turned me to rust
Sooner than later, I'll need a savior, I'll need a saviour

It won't ever change if you want it to stay the same
I really hate it but I know it's hard to choose if you're chained
And when it's all you control cause you've got nothing else to hold
You're getting tighter and tighter, it's getting harder to let it go

I don't want to know

I just want to run to you
And break off the chains, and throw them away
I just want to be so much
And shake off the dust that turned me to rust
Sooner than later, I'll need a saviour
I'll need a saviour

Stand me up and maybe I won't be so small
Free my hands and feet and maybe I won't always fall...
save me

I just want to run to you
And break off the chains, and throw them away
I just want to be so much
And shake off the dust that turned me to rust
I just want to run to you
and break off the chains and throw them away
I just want to be so much
and shake off the dust that turned me to rust
Sooner than later, I'll need a saviour
I'll need a saviour

That sweet voice shone through despite the use of Auto-Tune (on just this song). Beautiful lyrics too. Okay, her upcoming album The Listening is on my list, right next after Crash Love. Could be a little tough to find it though, since she isn't exactly mainstream.

Imagine a demon that feeds upon the kindest of humanity. A demon that takes advantage of and permanently consumes those with the kindest of souls. Allowing yourself to shift into a Darwinian state of mind, realise that the altruistic are therefore disadvantaged, and will be selected against. Over time, the altruistic dwindles in numbers, until one day there is nought.

The highest standard of altruism in the system therefore drops over time, until one day the demon can be seen to have effectively converted all into images of itself.

Explore the other side of the story. Envision now, an angel that invokes in others the same sense of mythical selflessness that itself possesses. The angel seeks to persistently elevate the worst of humanity. Does this mean that in due time, all will grow wings?

A society of angels is, however, most prone to treachery, and we have come a full circle.